The Hierarchy of Boarding an Airplane

"It's not home is what Mike said." -A woman sitting next to me at the airport, who had been up since four o'clock this morning!

solo.

"I Miss You Immeasurably"


We never went
Dancing.

--



"Things I Thought About on the way from Chicago to Jacksonville"



Am I the kind of person who turns off their cell phone completely when a flight attendant tells me to, or the kind of person who puts it on airplane mode and turns the screen off?

Enlisting the help of passengers who happen to be sitting in the 'Emergency Exit' row to help manage the plane during an emergency seems like a flawed system.

How do the airline people not lose every bag every time?

There are so many different vehicles on an airport runway that all only serve one specific function.

How often do the people who guide airplanes with those orange glow sticks get breaks?

What percentage of male flight attendants identify as heterosexual?

The cars that drive people around inside the airport are weird and everyone is always in their way.

Why do the window shades have to be open during take off and landing?

If I wanted to buy every seat on a flight of a commercial airline so I was on the plane by myself, would I be allowed to?  Has anyone ever done this before?

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Congratulations! You put an open bottle of Diet Coke in your backpack.  Aspartame kills!