Friday, May 31, 2013

I miss my therapist. (But he's probably not allowed to miss me).

"I tried signing up years ago, but I got too stressed about picking a username, so I stopped." -My friend, about online dating. (And, indirectly, about Earth signs).


 It's as easy as that!

And they're all made out of ticky-tacky...

"Who Likes Seeing Their Life in Boxes?"

Get on a schedule

Become less selfish

Go to the gym

Cook more

Talk to friends from home

Spend more time alone



Skin care

Is a year away
From that day
A year from now.  

New beginnings
Blah blah blah
I'm already getting grey hairs!


Congratulations! OkCupid says you are 93% compatible with the person that society calls your "ex-boyfriend."  Do not collect 200 dollars.

Learning how to play "I Will Always Love You" on the ukulele is difficult.  But I'm confident that I'll see major returns on that investment.  


Thursday, May 30, 2013

You and Me and Me

"We did have some things wrong.  Like the thing where we burned wives for being unfaithful." -An Indian Non-profit consultant at a fundraising seminar I went to, about globalization.

Prove it.


I've never taken my personality in to get dry cleaned before.  Is that gross?

"Grey Day"

Walking through
With heavy souls
In my shoes.

So you don't

In a room
Of people
Looking for home.

Not mine

There's no rhyme


Tis the season to apologize for being sweaty to people you run into on the street!

I know I belong when I'm in a room full of white women with nose piercings.

So unbelievably alone in my apartment right now.  But the whales keep swimming unbeknownst. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Happy Post-Memorial Day.

"I don't think I am--although I have watched four seasons of 'The L Word'." -My sister, about not being a lesbian

"I'm not going to try it on, I know I'll be an extra small." -My mother, about a top from J.Crew, in front of her medium-sized daughter 

No photographs, please.

"At the Mall"

Picturing you
In all this clothing.

You'd look so cute
in that suit.

It's not fair
That I can't wear
Denim vests;
They remind me of you.

(But should I really
Be wearing
Denim vests
In the first place?)

At what point
Does this become creepy?

(At what point
Did this become creepy?)

Everybody poops.


Everyone's parents are really into kokopelli, right?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My whole life is Karaoke

"If I ever had a family, I would have balloons in my house all the time." - My sister, about family.

girl vs boat

Three cheers for wheelchair accessible swimming pools!

self portrait: "so many sisters!"

"Candy Picnic"

Who feels confused
At the beach?

Not Golden Retrievers.


Poppin my own back pimples.  Sad timez ya'll!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Doesn't that Hurt?

"Where did you get that?" -My dad, about a piece of leftover pizza he saw me eating.

Getting closer...

self portrait: "almost there"

"Things that are Forced"

Walking on sea shells:
Better to go fast or slow?

Plastic bag in the ocean:
This is not your home!

Three egg omelette:
No yolks!


Nature is a cruel bitch.

Sunday, May 26, 2013


"Make noise" -My friend, when I asked him what he does when he experiences sudden bouts of emotion.

Trying to get back home.


My whole family is almost together.

My almost whole family is together.

My whole almost family is together.

My whole family is together.



Trying to hail a cab to the airport on a rainy day makes you hate New York City.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

It has to be real, I saw it on Will & Grace

"Well, that's a mistake" - My father, about a decision I made.

While it is raining.


Live in the fantasy 
That things may be okay

So you might fall asleep
So you might fall asleep
So you might fall asleep
So you might fall asleep.


What happened to the Dixie Chicks?

God is a woman.  She is also on her period.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Putting on Grown-up Underwear

"You think I could deal with those kids otherwise?" - A teacher who ate at the restaurant, when her co-worker asked her why she smoked weed before work.

In other news, Tia Mowry is in a movie without Tamera.

"You Can't Make Aioli Alone"

That is the moon

Those are the stars

These are my hands

And there is the spot where you should be sleeping.


When you are really thirsty and you only get a little sip of water (which just makes you want a glass of water more).

Thursday, May 23, 2013

If you're looking for my bike, its locked up outside the Chipotle on 8th Street.

"If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite." -William Blake

A man was shot on this street corner a few days ago.

"Look Up"


I hit a pedestrian
While riding my bicycle
Because I was too distracted
To Whitney Houston.

And so eventually,
He stopped looking.

Even though his dreams
Were telling him
Just to wait his turn.




All the birds were chirping today.  But I wouldn't trust a bird to help me make any major life decisions.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

people keep looking at me.

"Almost everything serious is difficult; and everything is serious." -Rainer Maria Rilke, to a young poet

Never too far from home

What Brooklyn looks like

"I Spilled my Latte on Myself"

I forgot you!

I forgot your name.
I forgot your face.
I forgot where you live!

I forgot sitting on a stoop with you,
Smoking American Spirits
And talking about feminism
Before were were
Each others'.
I forgot quitting together
After our first month.

I forgot about the time
You told me
I must be lying--
Because no person 
Could possibly be
As perfect
As me.

I forgot crying together
When we had sex.

What is sex?

I forgot meeting your family
At your mom's house
In Connecticut.
I forgot you meeting my family
At my sister's graduation
In Florida.
(I forgot splitting your airfare).

I forgot when we told each other
We were family.

I forgot stealing chocolate
From bodegas
With you.
I forgot stealing time with you.

Our favorite ice cream flavors,
The way your cologne smells
Like trees and candy,
I forgot sleeping face-to-face.

I don't remember 
If I've ever slept before!

I forgot how we used to
Breathe each other's air;
And summer skinny dipping
In that brook
By those houses; 
Or what we did
On top of that rock.

I forgot watching the sunrise
The night we met.

Unopened promises.

I don't think we made 
Plans for the future.
Did we?

I'm really sorry,
I got a new phone
And I lost 
All my contacts.
Who is this?


Being a grown up is hard.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

at the corner of Lonliness and Shame.

"What's your name?" -A customer I served at the restaurant, directed at me (victory for the human race!)

We know more about the surface of the moon than we do the bottom of the ocean. 

The audacity--to assume that every time we peel this object's skin away we'll find the same thing underneath!

"let it breath a bit"

ceaseless motion:
trying trying
to find
a humane configuration
of sleep.


Finished the whole container of Vegan Soba Noodles because I was too lazy to bring half the container downstairs and too cheap to let the food go to waist.

                              Poverty + Exhaustion --> Obesity --> Could I be any more privileged?

And I just think we are at the point in life where we aren't ever going to learn how to spell any more additional words.

Monday, May 20, 2013

It only rained if you were under a tree.

"Will they be ok if you pass away?" -(In my inbox from) 'dan' at TermLife.

Lots of unfinished pairs today.  

"God Save the Queen"

A lonely bumble bee
Flew by
And asked me

are all the flowers?

To which I replied

My sinuses
are endless reservoirs
of mucus.

To which it stung me.


What on earth does a mother grey whale feel when her calf is separated from her and eaten by killer whales?  Technically speaking, that is one of the largest events that ever takes place on this planet. There is so much happening that we aren't aware of!

Lets hear it for specialization!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

the process of unbelieving

"If I'm being tipped out the most, then I'll stay here and wait with you." -My co-worker, when I told him that he could go home and I would wait for the dishwasher to finish before I closed the restaurant.  

self portrait: "bloody mary blues"

"Why'd You Have to Go and Make Things So Complicated" or "slipping into myth"

Ours was a love
Of capability.

Have you had sex?

You've probably had sex.

I've had sex.

It doesn't so much feel
Like mine anymore.

How does it feel
To be one of those people
Who swims in cages
With sharks?

I am surrounded by relationships.

And I'm just trying
Not to sleep alone.

The sharpest pin
Is that things that once reminded me
Of you
No longer do.

And I've loved you so deeply
That I've stained
The bottoms of my feet red.


I can out bike a car! (If I get a head start)

Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Pear's the Thing

"For my height and age, I'm overweight." -My friend.

how it feels to be colored me.

"I Really had the Best Intentions"

The thing
About cheese
Is that whether you are with
A big group of happy people,

Or in a pair on the High Line,

Or alone on the High Line,
The whole block of it 
Will disappear.

The only


Is the blame.


There is so much sound everywhere.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Thinking a Latte

"Yea, totes." -A woman I passed on the street, talking to her friend (evidently, this is still said in earnest?)

People have feelings, and people paint those feelings on the Williamsburg Bridge.

"Trying to get to the Beach"

I'm pretty sure

You just have to wait?


I only really connect with mammals.  

Is there anything better than watching grass grow in fast motion?

There are certain things that I want to care about more, and certain things I want to care about less.  Has this ever been untrue?

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The word of the day is "Circadian"

"Wanna get fro yo or watch me eat a sandwhich?" -My friend, when I told her I was feeling lonely

It is a United Nations of yogurt!

"Who write the directions on microwaveable burritos?"

What am I doing wrong
That I'm always signing checks
And mailing letters
At the bank and post office
But I'm never receiving
Money or mail?

This lifestyle is not sustainable.


Today at my internship I helped change a hot water heater.  It felt incredible.

We are all just here to help each other heal.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

They will play "The Cha-Cha Slide" at my wedding.

"Our deepest far is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." -Marianne Williamson

I bet I could beat them at soccer. 

"They're serving Gomen Wat at Whole Foods"

sat down
to write
a poem

but i couldn't think of anything to say.

which is okay.


"before two gays gave me the stink eye"

the woman
from the flower shop next door
gave me a bouquet
of purple roses.

"they're past
the point of selling

the last thing i want to do
is take home more flowers.

do you have any use for them?
for your girlfriend, or something?"

and with the snap of her fingers
reminded me
that i'm not
the center
of the universe.


raise your hand if you know anything about African geography?  it's the second largest continent on our planet.  our education system is failing us!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Any vegetarian who says they don't like the smell of fried chicken is lying.

"Don't be.  I'm starving." -My friend who is on a juice cleanse, when I told her I was jealous.

Uninspired on your way up the bridge.

Don't worry, there's still the sky.

"I'll see you at Veselka"

I know what we ate
For our last meal together.

You ordered a bowl of borscht,

I got pancakes.

Mine came with eggs
That I didn't want
So you traded me for hash browns
That you ordered
A la carte.


I had to take a call--
Some technicalities
About tomorrow.

I don't think we knew
At that point.
Maybe you knew
At that point.

In any case,
You were rubbing my leg.

We paid the check
And decided to blow off the day.
We went back to your place
And napped face to face.

Then it all started,
Or ended,
Or something.

So I'll see you at Vesekla
One day
Maybe not.

It's all sort of hard to say at this point.

It's hard to see.


My mom told me that she read somewhere that a scientist said that it takes three months to establish a new habit.

Monday, May 13, 2013

I almost didn't notice all the roses.

"There is your daily dose of happiness, courtesy of Julian Goldhagen." -My friend, about this plog. 

' C '


"To the Man Eating a Reuben Alone on Mothers Day" or "Spending What I Don't Have"

To lay in the sun and

(It's not so farfetched-- 
We are 70% water).

What would be left?

Some teeth.
Some hair.
A shriveled rasin heart.

A friendship bracelet
(If you're lucky).

What better cure 
For a head cold
Then to lay in the sun and 

Or a heel spur?

Or a hernia?

Or a broken heart?

To lay in the sun and

Then what would it be to


"I can't help if it you look like an angel"

Through alarms
Brings such
An equal sense
Of triumph
And defeat.

Of triumph 
And defeat.


Happy first-ever mothers day to Ms. Beyonce Knowles! 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Trying to become enormous.

"If you have to ask yourself, 'Would Dee Dee Goldhagen do this?' and the answer is 'No', then you probably shouldn't be doing it." -My mother, about everything.

self portrait: "any place that encourages you to walk around in your underwear but requires you to wear shoes is not a place you want to spend much time."

Why people ride bicycles. (Or, steerage on the Titanic?)

Things cliche for a reason.

"So Many Things I Could Not Do (if i had arthritis)" 

You're not supposed to be mean to people.

You're not supposed to eat after nine pm.

You're not supposed to walk in the bike lane.

You're not supposed to bike on the sidewalk.

You're not supposed to talk about your feelings at a bar.

You're not supposed to write people who don't write you back.

You're not supposed to love people who don't love you back.

You're certainly not supposed to go t a wedding that your not invited to.

You're not supposed to wear navy with black.

You're not supposed to prefer smoking weed alone.

You're not supposed to smoke weed.

You're not supposed to make people feel uncomfortable.

You're not supposed to0 try to hard.

(but don't be lazy!)

You're not supposed to lie.

You're not supposed to seal.

You're not supposed to ask too many questions.

(but don't be lazy!)


"you're probably drunk right now"

the thought
of thunder
makes me want
to be back
in your bed.


I listen to women singing in French to keep me from going crazy.  What do you do?

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Dollar Drinks! (If you're in your underwear).

"It is illegal to ride your bike looking like that." -A homeless women I met outside the post office, about my shirtless-and-denim-cutoffs uniform.

Khun Flower Delivery requires you to specify your gender if you are ordering online.

"i'm never taking my toothbrush out of my  bag again"

This morning
I made the conscious choice
To incubate 
For an hour past
When my alarm was set.

And I realized

How arbitrary
That we call call it 


Today I bought harem pants. Because...

Friday, May 10, 2013

Home is where the power outlet is.

"Here it is!" -My friend, about a bell she got me for my bike (before the entire city of New York started to hate me).

 This is not the natural habitat of an octopus.

Spiderman! (With his mother).

"the point i'm at"

Who sits
In those weird pedestrian medians
Where they put tables and chairs
Between busy two-way avenues
In New York City?

Tourists eating cupcakes.

Shoe-less old Asian women
Resting their feet 
Between shifts of collecting used plastic bottles.

An intern 
At a fashion magazine
Sipping something green 
And frozen
From a Starbucks bucket.

A tween with a skateboard.

An old man wearing a young man's hat.

A homeless-looking NYU student
Noodling Udon
(From home).

No couples:
But, an abandoned left boot.

There's not much
Overt community,
Especially when it's about to rain.

But I'm tired of sitting in coffee shops.

And I don't have anywhere to be for two hours.

And I already called my mother.

And I'm at least a little uneasy.

And I can't (for the life of me)
Think of a place in this city
To get a good
Reasonably priced

And if there is a god,
(why not she)
Must be busy elsewhere
For this place is neither
Nor paradise--
Even as it starts to drizzle.


5:30 dinner means 8:00 second dinner.  Holler!

Thursday, May 9, 2013


"I had bullshit this morning." -A customer at the restaurant, referring to the coffee she drank earlier that day.

self portrait: "At work, an hour early"

 They just couldn't finish it!

"If you're sick, I'll bring you Gatorade"

Lets run into each other.

I think if you start in Los Angeles
And I start in Florida
And we run as fast as we can
(i mean,
as fast as we can)
We may get to Kansas City around the same time
And we could see what would happen
If we ever ran into each other.

We could both head north--
If you gave me a little head start
We could run into each other in Antarctica.
(it's supposed to be beautiful
this time of year,
not too cold--
as "not too cold"
as antarctica could be).
I've always wanted to see the Aurora Borealis.

There's also always Mexico.

Of course,
You could just run in place,
And if I start now,
In a week or so,
We could run into each other at your mom's house
And you could show me
Where you went to kindergarten. 

Or I could run in place
And we could run into each other
At my apartment in about an hour--
(even though it may feel otherwise)
We're not so far apart, really.

To run into each other.
To run into each other.
Like we used to run into each other, before.

It's not so hard to imagine, really.


Today I ate some incredible nonseasonal fruit.

What are you supposed to do when you spill pepper?

"Fail fast, fail often, fail better." -A wise man over brunch.

(not a lot of fire in the West Village)

"on the pier"

what i





your face.


The process by which we secure a home today is so different than that of our ancestors!

(also, how grey was today?)