days i have held, days i have lost

"you're name is lollipop." - a little girl, to me

a view of the inside of my sinuses

"no easy way out"

it must be tricky to be a giant panda.  all you can eat is bamboo.  but because bamboo is incredibly low in nutrients, you have to consume a constant supply of it.  this means that you must always be roaming through bamboo forrests becuase you exhaust one location of bamboo very quickly.  but becuase china (the only place in the world that you exist in nature) is urbanizing so rapidly, bamboo forrests are continually being segmented due to clear cutting for land development.  so you exist on these islands of bamboo amidst a sea of newly erected cities.  but you can't leave your bamboo island once you have exhausted it of all its bamboo (which you inevitably will do, and relatively quickly), because there would be no bamboo for yout to eat as you walked through these cities in order to get to the next bamboo island. (plus, you would definitley get a lot of shit for being a wild giant panda walking through a city--no matter how forward thinking the people in the city are). on top of all this, you are a biologically solitary creature.   so even if you wanted to speak up about your bamboo forrests being cut down (condeming you to starve on your bamboo island), it would be an uphill battle to make your voice heard. if there is one thing that we've learned from social justice movements of the past, it is that it is very difficult (if not impossible) to advocate for your rights as an individual--change happens through community efforts.  yet even if you were able to somehow override your instincts in order to decide to organize with other somehow-social giant pandas to demand that your bamboo forrests stop being cut down, you wouldn't be able to meet with them because you would have no way to get to their bamboo island without starving in one of the bamboo-free cities in between (which is the main issue in the first place).  because you are a giant panda, you do not have any technology in order to engage in community organization through social media and overcome physical separation (ala the arab spring). and even if you did, you don't have obbosible thumbs so you couldn't use it.  

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cold season.  i'm sick of being sick.  but i know that a soon as i'm better i'll be healthy of being healthy.