"my uggs are ruined!" - my roommate, about the perils of snowfall
saint pizzatine's day.
"the only constant is"
on february fourteenth, two thousand and twelve, julian goldhagen is told "i love you" by his valentine's date over a bottle of red wine at a cafe on mdcougal street in the west village. he had been seeing this boy for a month. julian is too taken aback to reciprocate the sentiment, so instead, on the way home buys his new boyfriend a toothbrush to keep at his place.
on february fourteenth, two thousand and thirteen, julian is called on the phone by his boyfriend at one o'clock in the morning and told that their relationship is over. later that day, julian sends his ex-boyfriend flowers that will never arrive. after that, julian goes to work waiting tables and refuses to serve any same-sex couples.
on february fourteenth, two thousand and fourteen, julian is sitting on a couch in a living room next to metal bucket that is collecting drops of melted snow that are leaking from the ceiling. he is babysitting two little boys who are both upstairs in their separate rooms with the doors closed. julian is eating a "pearapple," which tastes like stale water wrapped in parchment paper. he is two bocks away from the last place he saw his "boyfriend" before he became his "ex-boyfriend." he has a runny nose.
on february fourteenth, two thousand and fifteen, julian is sitting at a desk in a crowded room in a community center in south brooklyn. he is taking a "mandarin language intensive." julian is drinking jasmine tea to recover from the first globally mandated "chinese new year" celebration that took place a few nights before--which he and everyone else refer to as "the new year" celebration because china has taken over the world.
on february fourteenth, two thousand and sixteen, the last of the polar ice caps melts, and whales replace humans as the most specialized and intelligent creatures on the planet.
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today i stepped in gum with bare feet because i was in my apartment.
this is the best plog ever.
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