surfbored

"i've looked into it, and i don't think it's a good idea." - my dad, over the phone, when i asked him if i should think about investing my nonexistent savings in medical marijuana

what the fuck is a light bulb?

ok!

"somewhat grey"

there are a couple of key differences between myself and a grizzly bear.

grizzly bears are bears and i am a human. a twenty-three-year-old grizzly bear stands about ten feet tall and weighs eight hundred pounds. after twenty-three years of eating, drinking and pooping, i am five eleven and three quarters and weigh one hundred and sixty-five pounds.

grizzly bears are omnivores; i'm a vegetarian. grizzly bears are covered in thick, waterproof, insulating fur; i had a dream last night that i grew a beard.  grizzly bears have powerful claws and maul several people per year; one time i got into a fight with a co-worker during a shift, but we made up after.

the most significant factor that differentiates me from a grizzly bear is the way we spend our winters.

grizzly bears hibernate. food is scarce during the frozen months, so they binge on grass, berries, squirrels, salmon, and unattended campsite food during the spring, summer, and fall.  then, for six months of winter, they sleep and live off their fat reserves.  grizzly bears burn one million calories when they hibernate, and only wake when their bodies are so closed to starving that anymore sleep would kill them.

i binge during the winter---mostly on ice cream, hummus, and unattended campsite food.  then around march, i remember that soon it will be warm and i start to work out so i will look good in cut-offs and tank tops for the summer. 

other then that, we're pretty much the same.

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training new people at work makes me feel like a winner.