it is what it is

"i watched the music video for 'blue' by beyonce twice and i cried both times. i didn't watch it a third time--not because i was afraid that i would cry, but because i was afraid that i wouldn't." - my friend, on the experience of loss.

no one really wants to be in prett. everyone is killing time before going somewhere else. 

"nothing a good walk can't cure"

i'm always in a weird place

at work

on friday nights.

i come straight from therapy.

today i unearthed 

that i tend to displace 

my anxiety (from not having enough nurturing

as a child)

onto my relationships.

i have internalized 

quite a bit of shame,

which makes it difficult 

for me to escape the trap

of making decisions from a place of 

'people pleasing.'

i've repressed

a great deal

of sexual frustration.

my apologies,

if you came in hoping for a peaceful dinner.

--

i am unclear as to exactly what goes into my "down" winter jacket.  is it the actual feathers of actual birds? if so, what are the living conditions for those birds? are they harmed in the process of making my jacket? how many birds am does the typical article of winter clothes require? if not, why am i living under the assumption that my jacket is full of bird feathers? (also, what is a feather??)

--

if you rip your favorite shirt, you have to either fix it, or get a new favorite shirt.